I’m a college student at NDSU and have been active in my faith life ever since the second semester of my freshman year, but that’s an entirely different story in itself. Since then, many miracles have happened in my life. I guess you could say I’ve had many Come to Jesus Moments, probably because I have made many mistakes and am waiting for the day when I learn to live as the Saints did, very righteously. Until then, I guess I’ll keep making my mistakes (hopefully fewer and fewer of them) and praying that God will show me something good that can come from them.
The story I will talk about today is when I really learned to trust our Lord. I had an ex-girlfriend who wanted to get back together. She was a great girl, I still respect her and certainly consider her a friend, but I just didn’t know if a relationship was right for us. While we were dating there were times I felt that we were just using each other for our own selfish comforts, not truly caring about each other like we should have. I would be lying if I said there was never a night (after we broke up) that I didn’t miss her. All the same, I was not convinced that we were meant to be together, and I knew that if you were dating someone you didn’t plan on marrying, you were hurting yourself and her, and it was wrong.
I decided to get the opinion of Jesus. I had faith but did I have enough? I have heard that if you have the strong kind of relationship we should all have with God, you should be able to ask him any question and you should be able to hear and understand his response. Well, I wasn’t at that level, I needed a miracle of some sort, some tangible thing that showed me His answer, because I couldn’t really understand Him yet.
I went to Eucharistic Adoration. If you aren’t familiar with the subject, it’s where we Catholics go to adore the Eucharist (go figure). The Eucharist is what we call our communion bread and wine after it has been consecrated into the literal body and blood of our Lord Jesus. So I knelt in front of Jesus and began to pray, saying, “God… do you want me to get back together for her?” Nothing. “God… do you want me to be single right now?” WOW. The second after I finished saying that I felt like I was floating. I immediately got a huge smile on my face. Not really sure what was going on, I just stayed there, basking in the warmth I was feeling. It’s hard to describe, but everything in me was gone except for joy. To a very small extent, heaven may feel something like that. I said thanks to God and left.
I was pretty good at being single, for a while. Then a few months later there were several girls I thought might be the wife God wanted me to have (if you can’t tell, I was pretty excited to find this girl). I was getting way ahead of myself. An attractive woman would say hi to me and, in my head, I would ask God if this was her. When I figured out that I was going about it all wrong, I went back to Adoration and knelt before Christ again. This time I prayed something along the lines of, “God, I want to completely trust in You, please help me with that. I want my life to run on Your time and not on mine. I will wait however long you want me to, but please, in Your time, bring me to the woman you want me to marry.”
I quit chasing after every other girl I saw. Within a month I met the woman who is now my wife. God has a great sense of humor. I think He just wanted me to trust him, but he always wants us to be happy, to truly receive our deepest desires, our deepest desires. For me it was be married, and at a pretty young age apparently (I’m 21). I’m not there yet, but I am learning to trust Him with everything, and I am becoming transformed into the man who He wishes me to be. Slowly, yes, but I know if I keep Him as the center of my life, I’ll get there one day.