I was born with major medical problems that required five open heart surgeries among other things. My faith was really strong up until high school when the, ‘why me’ attitude started to kick in. The inability to do some things that my peers were able to do. Coupled with, completely unrelated, bullying made me doubt the existence of God. I was super shy and unconfident in high school and one of my “friends” bullied me for being quiet. She even talked to the school guidance councilor because she thought I had anti-social disorder. Being in psychology I knew what that disorder was. And I didn’t have it. But I wasn’t about to give her a lesson in psychology. I haven’t talked to her since and I think she had a little run in with the law after graduation. But I am not sure where she is now.
It wasn’t until Adoration during a school retreat that I gave my life to God. Even though I grew up Catholic.
A few years later, during community college, my faith started to waver again. Then I went to a Nazarene University. Nothing against Nazarenes, I had them in my family. But I have never seen so many anti-Catholics in my life. Most of them didn’t think we were considered Christians and my religion class turned into a Catholic bashing session. I think God put me in that school for that year for a reason. I started to research and learn more about my Catholic faith and started to believe in Catholicism more and more.
During Christmas break I went to a convent for a week. Not that I was discerning religous life but because I had no idea what I should do with my life. I was thinking about transfering to a Catholic film school across the country but didn’t know what I should do. One day on that retreat during a prayer session I heard Him. It was a clear voice saying that He didn’t want me to join a convent and that I should go to school in San Diego. Because He had bigger plans for me.
I truly believe that God puts people or situations, whether good or bad, in your life for a reason. He uses them to get you closer to him.